


Like a Good Neighbor

by Saphire308



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), BAMF Stiles, Commercials, Derek Hale is a Failwolf, Derek is a State Farm agent, F/M, M/M, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski, Pining, Self-Indulgent, State Farm AU, Stiles Stilinski is a Mess, most characters are mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saphire308/pseuds/Saphire308
Summary: Lying on the ground, face in the dirt, Stiles gathered up the last of his pride, and resignedly said the jingle.“Like a good neighbor… State Farm is there.”Stiles hated that it had come to this.“What the fuck have you done now?” The familiar growl of his pissed-off State Farm agent sounded like music to his ears.
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Melissa McCall/Sheriff Stilinski, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes
Comments: 211
Kudos: 877
Collections: Sterek the good stuff





	1. Please Contact a State Farm® Agent

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic so please be gentle lol.  
> I thought of this trope at 3 am while binge-reading Sterek and I could not let it go. I looked everywhere for a fic already written with this plot but I couldn't find any. Thus, this was created. I hope you enjoy!

_ “Fuck!”  _

Stiles whips around a tree, trying to keep some distance from the crashing and growling slowly gaining on him. 

“Of  _ course  _ I had to anger the gnome nest when everyone was fucking gone!” He screamed as he went careening through the woods, barely keeping himself upright. 

Branches lashed across his face as the sounds of the tiny angry demon gnomes grew louder. Before he could come up with a plan that didn’t involve running until his legs gave out, he tripped.

Because that’s his life. And now he was going to be eaten by creepy little angry gnomes. 

Lying in the ground, face in the dirt, Stiles gathered up the last of his pride and resignedly said the jingle. 

“Like a good neighbor… State Farm is there.” 

Stiles hated that it had come to this. 

“What the fuck have you done now?” The familiar growl of his pissed-off State Farm agent sounded like music to his ears. 

“Well you see here,  _ Derek _ , I was doing my best to  _ not have to call you whatsoever _ but as you can see-“ Stiles gestured to the snarling, evil gnomes that had surrounded what Stiles could only assume was a force field Derek conjured around them, “-I didn’t really have any other options. Now if you could just do that cute little snap of your fingers, wiggle those big, bushy brows, and get me the fuck out of here, that would be just  _ peachy.”  _

Derek growled again, eyes flashing red as he stalked over to Stiles who had rolled over and was looking up at the dark night sky trying to remember why this was his life now. 

Oh right. Because his dad was a dick. 

Looking back, Stiles could understand why his father had him take out a life insurance policy. His job was to locate and record all mythical creatures for the national Non-Human Rights Foundation—NHRF—so that they could be protected. It came with many,  _ many _ on-the-job injuries. Honestly, he’s surprised he's lived this long as it is. So, then came Derek. 

When Stiles first called Derek, he did it more out of curiosity than anything. After getting drunk at the bar with a few friends, he began walking home to his apartment on the outskirts of Beacon Hills. While walking down a side street— which was more like an alley but  _ whatever— _ Stiles heard the scuffing of shoes behind him. Then a growl. And then the quick footfalls of someone gaining on him. Debatably, Stiles could have taken care of whatever mysterious creature was following him himself (he had more than enough weapons on him) but the mystery of State Farm combined with the fact that he was fairly drunk was just too tempting. 

After ducking behind a dumpster to shield himself from his stalker, he said the jingle and waited. At first, nothing happened. Then, the dumpster next to him began cursing. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you such an idiot that you summoned me in a fucking  _ garbage can? _ ” A deep and  _ very angry _ voice sounded from inside. A hand grabbed the edge of the dumpster and revealed what had to be the most beautiful man Stiles had ever seen, despite being covered head-to-toe in spoiled leftovers. 

A man with a jawline Stiles would happily cut himself on, a 5 o’clock shadow, and eyebrows for days emerged from the dumpster. He was in his customary red State Farm shirt and slacks that hugged his ass  _ just  _ right. Stiles’ mouth dropped open at the sight of his broad shoulders and pants-tightening scowl. 

“Uh…” Stiles was at a loss for words. Literally. No, actually. He could not even string together two words, that’s how hot the State Farm agent was. 

“Are you Mieczyslaw Stilinski? Are you the guy that called me or what because if not I have a bunch of other shit to do besides stand here covered in trash,” the very hot man snarled at him. 

Just as Hot State Farm Agent (as Stiles had begun calling him in his head) finished, the humanoid-like creature rounded the dumpster, stopping in his tracks at the sight of them. Stiles’ eyes widened as he took in the man before him. There was something definitely off with him; his stance was odd, his feet pointed in the wrong direction, and he didn’t look comfortable in his own skin. Then, Stiles looked into his eyes and it all made sense. The man before him was an Aswang—a shape-shifting evil spirit. Stiles could see the reflection of himself and Hot State Farm Agent flipped upside down in the Aswang’s eyes. Before Stiles could react, the Aswang lunged at him with razor-sharp claws. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was on the opposite side of the alley with a long gash across his chest. 

Stiles turned in aroused shock at the wolfed-out figure that was previously Hot State Farm Agent with his mouth wide open. Shaking himself out of his reverie, he gathered up his thoughts as words finally came back to him.

“Uh, yeah I’m Mieczyslaw but I go by Stiles. I’m sorry for the whole… trash thing, I didn’t really know where you’d be summoned. Hey! Thanks, by the way. For, you know, the whole killing thing. Killing the Aswang. That was stalking me. Honestly, A+ service. One hundred percent insured. Go State Farm, the true good neighbors! You know, my actual neighbors always ignore me whenever I yell or scream. Which, I guess is valid being that it happens pretty often in this line of business. Always getting nightmares from almost getting mauled. I’m surprised they haven’t called the cops before, you know? Which would be awkward being that my dad’s the Sheriff. By the way, are you okay? Because I know you’re a werewolf and all but—” 

“Do you ever  _ stop talking _ ?” Hot State Farm Agent snarled at him as he shifted back into his human form. “And what the hell is a Stiles? You actually go by that name? You know what? Don’t answer that. My job here is done. Please try not to call again.” And with that, he was gone.

Stiles blinked around and wondered if he had drunk hallucinated the beautiful State Farm agent, but nope. The Aswang was still against the wall all slashed and bloody. He should probably leave before he wakes up. Yeah, that was a good course of action. Picking his way through the trash and general grossness of the alley, he made his way to his apartment, determined to not call State Farm ever again. No matter how hot the agent was, he was a  _ dick _ . A hot dick. But a dick nonetheless. 

At least, that was the plan until Stiles was trapped by a coven of witches up in Washington and he was about to be used as a virginal sacrifice for who knows what. Which,  _ rude _ . No need to out him like that. Hot State Farm Agent was more than a little amused at the reason for Stiles’ kidnapping. Yes, twenty-four-year-old virgin. Very funny. Har har. After slaughtering the witches and whisking Stiles away to the safety of his hotel room, Stiles tripped on his own shoes and face planted into the bed. With an amused huff, Hot State Farm Agent blinked out of existence.

Then, there was the horde of pixies in Idaho, which, really? There’s nothing in Idaho besides potatoes—everybody knows that! That one was a complete surprise despite initially going there to record the location of said pixies. What? Sometimes information was wrong. Derek was furious. His red shirt was completely shredded and Stiles was once again reminded of how hot Hot State Farm Agent was. Despite the subsequent running in fear and having his ass handed to him, Stiles did finally learn Hot State Farm Agent’s name. After saving Stiles  _ again _ , he had received a call from a Girlfriend? Friend? Stiles wasn’t sure. All he knew was that it was a female named Erica and she was very vocal about her disappointment in Derek missing their pack dinner. That earned Stiles a very sexy glare, a growl, and a warning to stop his thoughtless actions before disappearing into thin air once again.

And then there was the giant Grendel that people kept mistaking for Bigfoot in Oregon. Stiles was, once again, captured. Stiles was  _ not  _ amused. Being tied to a spit and roasting over a bonfire, an awaiting Grendel drooling over their newfound snack, not as fun as one might think. At least he could finally cross being a human meat kebab off his bucket list. Derek swept in, plucked Stiles away from the fire, roared a little bit, and poofed them away to safer grounds.

Regardless of the situation, Derek never failed to blame Stiles for  _ breathing wrong _ and causing all of this misfortune. Whatever, his record was almost complete which meant all the furry and non-human people on the west coast would be identified and protected under law. Fuck you, Derek. 

His mind finished reminiscing and traveled back to the present. Stiles lifted his arm, waiting for Derek to grab it and drag him away to a safer location. Except, he didn’t. Stiles looked up at Derek to see Derek staring down, his eyebrows doing a weird thing where they simultaneously were trying to look amused, angry, and annoyed all at the same time. It was quite a feat. 

“What’s the holdup, big guy? I know you don’t like me that much but seriously? You can’t even help me up?” Stiles questioned from the ground. 

Derek growled again, his eyes once again flashing before grabbing Stiles’ hand and practically flinging him to his feet. 

“Stop trying to get yourself killed. Do you even know how high your insurance is?” Derek grumbled as the forest fell away and they popped into Stiles’ apartment. 

“You know what, Derek? I’ll keep that in mind next time I go out looking for hostile creatures. I mean, why didn’t I think of that before? Wow, you just gave me the most brilliant idea. Thanks, buddy,” Stiles said sarcastically before giving Derek his best bro shoulder clap. Derek huffed in annoyance. 

“Why do you even do it?” Derek demands. Damn, he really needed to learn some voice inflection. 

“What do you mean, why? It’s literally my job!” Stiles responded while making his way to the bathroom to treat the cuts on his face. 

“Your job is to continuously risk your own life?” 

“ _ No _ . My job is to protect lives like yours. Are you serious right now? Have you ever even read my file?” Stiles sucked in a breath as the hydrogen peroxide burned his wounds. 

Derek looked at him oddly, his eyebrows doing a weird thing where they  _ wanted _ to look mad but didn’t have a reason to be. It was oddly endearing. 

“Look, dude, if you want to give my case to someone else, you can. I won’t be offended. It’s not like you actually like being around me or anything. I can put in a request if you want? Can I do that? I actually have no idea how this whole thing works, you’re going to have to tell me what I should do. You know what, maybe I should just cancel my life insurance? You’re right, it is extremely expen—.” 

“Don’t you dare,” Derek growled, suddenly very close to Stiles, “You’d die within the week.”. Stumbling back, Stiles’ eye grew wide as Derek’s eyes flashed red. A sudden blush spread across his cheeks at the sudden closeness. Derek was hot, okay?  _ Sue him _ . 

“Alright man, chill. I couldn’t anyway,” Stiles turned back to his medicine cabinet to grab some Neosporin, “My dad would never let me. Hey, you know, I think this is the longest you’ve ever been—” A sudden rush of air had Stiles turning around to reveal nothing but empty space where Derek once stood. 

“Never mind then,” Stiles sighed. 

It wasn’t like Stiles was oblivious. He knew he was annoying, spastic, and talked way too much. He was very self-aware. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt a little that Derek never stayed around to chat. Oh well, on to more important matters. After cleaning up his face and hands, Stiles changed into a pair of sweats and an old, threadbare batman t-shirt. Settling down into his couch groove, Stiles pulled out his laptop and got to updating the database about the location of the gnomes. He knew his job was dangerous, alright? But he also knew it was important. If getting a little scratched up meant protection for these fairly  _ angry and hostile _ creatures, both for humans and said creatures, Stiles was all about it. No being should be killed for no reason. Does Stiles hate gnomes and their spiky little teeth more than life itself? Yes. But that doesn’t mean he thinks they should  _ die _ . As long as no one is getting attacked or eaten, Stiles was a firm believer that everything had a right to exist. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.

After updating the database and grabbing some cold pizza out of the fridge, Stiles went up to his room and promptly crashed before his head even hit the pillow. It had been a long day. 

☀

“—iles!” 

Stiles jolted awake to the feeling of someone’s hand on his shoulder. Before his mind could fully comprehend what was going on, he had grabbed the wolfsbane covered bat from the side of his bed. Swinging it around, looking around wildly for his attacker. 

“Stiles! Calm the fuck down! Why the hell do you have a fucking bat? Fuck, is that wolfsbane? Fuck!” 

Stiles squinted into the darkness. He knew that voice. What the hell? 

“Derek?” 

Derek was wolfed out pressed against the far side wall of his bedroom covering his nose. He wasn’t in his State Farm outfit. He was in a dark grey henley with a pair of sweats that were rolled up at the ankles. He looked almost… cuddly. 

“Derek, why the fuck are you in my room at—” Stiles turned to his alarm clock and groaned, “three o’clock in the fucking morning?” 

“I should be asking you that! You summoned me when I was sleeping!” 

“No, I didn’t? I was asleep, why would I do that?” 

The realization dawned on both of them at the same time and Stiles flushed. 

“I was sleep talking. Singing. Whatever. Oh my god, that is so embarrassing. I’m so sorry I woke you up. But it isn’t completely my fault! It’s a really catchy tune. Once it’s in your head, there’s no getting rid of it! Honestly, a great marketing strategy,” Stiles babbled on as Derek scrubbed his face with his hand. 

“I got it, Stiles. Now, please kindly shut the fuck up.” And with that, he poofed away, leaving a confused and embarrassed Stiles in his wake. 


	2. To talk to a State Farm, Sing the Jingle Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be honest guys, I have no idea where this story is going. I only ever got as far as imagining Derek as a State Farm agent so if I have any plot holes, feel free to tell me so I can fix them!

“Scotty, my best friend, my alpha, you don’t get it. I called for him  _ in my sleep _ . Do you know how embarrassing that is!?” Stiles ranted at his phone as he scrambled some eggs. 

“I hear you, Stiles, but I honestly don’t think it’s that big of a deal? You were asleep and it’s a pretty catchy tune. It’s in my head all day after I see a commercial. I’m just glad I don’t have State Farm or I’d accidentally be summoning my agent all the time.” Scott assured him. 

“You adorable, overgrown puppy. I love you, but you’re wrong. What little I had left of my dignity is gone. Gone with the wind. Never to be seen again. If you had a State Farm agent, you’d probably be best friends and have sleepovers and it wouldn’t even matter. But Derek? He barely tolerates me. Ugh.” Stiles finished cooking his eggs and plopped them next to the piece of toast on his plate.

“Guess I’ll just have to quit my job and move to Mexico. Does State Farm work in Mexico? Actually, how the fuck does the State Farm teleportation even work?” 

“You’re overexaggerating, Stiles. Oh! I forgot to tell you. I think our parents finally got their heads out of their asses and went on an honest to god date last weekend,” Scott announced excitedly.

“For real? That’s amazing. You go, John and Melissa. When are you coming back to Beacon Hills?” 

“Soon. Allison and I are on the last leg of our trip around the states. We’re in Texas right now and we should be back within the next two weeks,” Scott breathed dreamily. Gross. Stiles loves Ally and Scott, he truly does. Scott is his best friend since age five and Ally is the sweetest person to ever walk this earth. He just doesn’t like to hear about  _ everything _ they got up to on their honeymoon around the country.

“Yes, very cool. I can’t wait to see my brother from another mother and my sister…Yeah, I don’t know where I was going with that. Alright, bye.”

“Bye, Stiles.” 

Hanging up with Scott, Stiles finished his eggs and shot a text over to his boss at NHRF, Lydia. She was a fiery, brilliant woman whose pure intelligence scared the shit out of Stiles. If he swung that way, he might have fallen in fear-love with her. Alas, he did not and was forced to live in fearful respect of her awesomeness. After informing her of his progress with the gnomes, he put his plate in the sink and went about getting ready for his day job. 

Although Stiles worked for NHRF, it didn’t exactly bring in the cash. So, while not on missions, Stiles worked part-time at a local book store where he could read up on all types of lore and hide away in the shelves until someone wanted a book. After pulling on his signature comfy red hoodie, Stiles grabbed his keys and headed for his jeep. 

☀

The jingle of the bell brought Stiles out of his reading coma and back to reality. After quickly reshelving his book and straightening his clothing, he walked casually back to the front desk. There was no rush. People tended to slow down once they entered the peacefulness that permeated throughout the store.

After situating himself on the stool, he listened as the customer idly strolled through the aisles. Having been distracted by the book he was previously reading, Stiles hadn’t had a chance to open up the register for the day. What? They barely got any customers. As he fiddled with the register and organized the front counter, Stiles got a glimpse of the customer walking down an aisle to his left. Letting out an appreciative hum, Stiles observed who he saw now was a tall, buff man with fantastic taste in books. He was in the dystopian section and Stiles wholeheartedly approved. In a gesture of good customer service, Stiles got up to help the man find the best dystopian. Stiles had very strong opinions on books, okay?

“Hello, sir! Do you need any—” Stiles froze mid-step. “Derek? What are you doing here?” 

Derek was in casual clothing: a navy blue shirt with a  _ very _ sexy leather jacket that stirred up all types of fantasies, and a pair of blue jeans. He looked as surprised as Stiles was, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Stiles? You work here?” 

“Yeah, dude. You’d know that if you didn’t always poof away once the job was done,” Stiles said, if only a little bitterly. 

“I thought you said your job was to ‘to protect lives like mine’?”

“It is, but that only makes me so much money, man. I’m still paying off college loans.”

Derek nodded and went back to perusing the books on the shelves. His eyebrows scrunched up adorably as if he didn’t know what to do with that information.

“Alright, well. Let me know if you need any help.” Retreating back to the front counter, Stiles’ thoughts raced around. 

First, Derek lived in Beacon Hills, or at least close to it. He guessed that made sense being that it would be majorly inconvenient to suddenly be teleported to a different state or country whenever someone needed assistance. It just never occurred to him. Second, Derek read books. Like, good books. What’s up with that? That’s not to say that Stiles thought Derek was dumb, he just hadn’t pegged him for a book guy. Ha. Pegged. Third, why was this the first time Stiles was seeing Derek? They supposedly lived close together. Stiles felt like they would have run into each other at some point before now. And Stiles would definitely have remembered. It’s hard  _ not _ to notice Derek. His thoughts came to a halt as Derek approached the counter with his book. Derek slid  _ Lord of the Flies _ and his credit card over to Stiles to be scanned and shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. 

“ _ Lord of the Flies _ . Classic. Very ‘High School required reading’ of you. No judgment, though. It’s pretty good,” Stiles rambled as he rang Derek up. Derek nodded his head, took back his card and bagged book, and left without even saying goodbye. 

Odd as it was, Stiles shrugged it off and just counted it off as another thing about Derek that was just  _ Derek _ . He was slowly compiling a list. It included: 

  1. Derek hated smalltalk 
  2. Derek was an alpha werewolf 
  3. Derek had a pack that he never spoke about 
  4. Derek had a girlfriend (possibly)
  5. Derek was very blunt 
  6. Derek did not like blood yet could easily disembowel a Sidhe with just his eyes
  7. Derek wore soft henleys to bed
  8. Derek read dystopian books
  9. Derek had a weird thing about Stiles having life insurance



That was Stiles’ whole list. For having known Derek for almost a year, and having been in multiple life-or-death situations with him, he found it pretty… pathetic.

Sighing, Stiles went back to his nook and continued reading his book. Trying to figure out Derek just resulted in migraines. 

☀

“Okay but dude, how do you even do that?” Stiles asked once he finally had his breath back. God, he’s so glad he cleaned his room today. It was a complete shithole yesterday and he didn’t need  _ more  _ judgment from Derek.

Derek had once again been called after a pack of redcaps had targeted Stiles. He wasn’t even working this time! He just wanted to go camping at this little area in the middle of the preserve which he  _ knew  _ wasn’t inhabited because it would have been in the database map. The map he spent almost two years marking with locations of each supernatural group. And it was a goddamn accurate map, dammit! The redcaps should not have been there. 

“Do what?” Derek asked, not even slightly out of breath. What an asshole. 

“You know, the whole ‘poof, I’m your magical genie and can take you anywhere’ shtick,” Stiles said with a wave of his hands. 

“It’s a spell. All of the agents at State Farm have a token of some sort that is connected to the people who take out insurance. So, when you say the jingle, it activates the spell, sending us a quick notification that we’re being called before teleporting us over,” Derek shrugged. 

“That’s… actually really fascinating. What’s your token? What is the distance of the spell? Would it still work if I was across the world, or say Mexico? What if I hummed the jingle instead of singing the words? Would it still work if I thought it instead? How was it even developed?” Stiles’ curiosity was peaked and his desire for answers left him breathless and much closer to Derek than before. He hadn’t even realized he’d moved.

Derek took a step back and looked away. Stiles, realizing how overwhelming he could be, stepped back and hung his head. 

“Sorry, man. Just got a little excited...” he said as he scratched the back of his neck. 

“It’s fine. I don’t know all the information but… it will work anywhere in the world. It will not work if it’s hummed—it’s the words that activate the spell. Because of that, thinking it won’t work either. Writing it might? I haven’t tested that.” Stiles looked up, “And that is not an invitation for you to test it.” Damn, Derek was getting good. “It was originally developed for emergency responders like police, doctors, and firefighters to get where they needed to go more quickly and it was activated through buttons, like a panic button for example. State Farm altered it for our purposes.” Derek shrugged like he hadn’t just said the most words in a row  _ ever.  _

“So, what’s your token?” 

“It’s a bracelet from my younger sister, Cora. She made it when she was really young and gave it to me…” Derek looked away as he spoke and Stiles saw the tips of his ears turn pink. That was so fucking adorable Stiles might squeal.

“Dude. Do you want some water or something? Your throat must be dry from being in use for that long,” Stiles joked as Derek’s signature scowl made an epic return. 

“Shut up.” Derek stuffed his hands in his khaki pants and glared into the distance like the emo teenager he tried to emulate. 

“Okay, but in all seriousness, those redcaps should not have been there. Something’s weird. Looks like we’ve got another mystery on our hands, Scoob!” Stiles joked with fake enthusiasm. 

Derek growled threateningly. 

“Make another dog joke and I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth.” 

Stiles should not have found that as hot as it was. Damn his hyperactive imagination. 

“Oh, Derek. Derek, Derek, Derek. My wolfy acquaintance. You  _ wish  _ those sexy canines of yours could have the luxury of tasting this sexy neck. But, alas, we have things to do! Come, Watson! The game is afoot!” With that, Stiles ignored Derek’s bared teeth, patted him on the shoulder, and took out his phone. 

It was time to call Lydia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now... Lydia the amazing has entered the picture!


	3. Experience in Personal and Commercial Insurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of know where the story is going now, It's just a matter of getting there lol. Anyway, Stiles is oblivious and too self-deprecating. Derek is a shy boy at heart. It's taking a while but they're getting there, dw. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Experience in Personal and Commercial Insurance

“Stiles, please tell me why you are contacting me at one in the morning. On a Monday.” Lydia’s voice was steady over the phone but Stiles could feel the rage burning below the surface. He was  _ so _ getting grunt work for the rest of the week. Fucking redcaps. 

“Lydia! Light of my life! Moon and my stars! My heart skips a beat just listening to your beautiful vo—”

“Just get to the point, Stiles.”

“Right. So anyway, while I was on my little camping trip where I was going to relax, maybe fish and get poison ivy like the true camper I am, I encountered a group of redcaps that were over a hundred miles away from where I marked them on the map.”

“So what does that mean?” Stiles could almost hear her twirling her hair impatiently.

“Why, Lydia my darling! I thought you’d never ask. It means that something made them move. I don’t know what yet and I don’t know why but if I hadn’t caught them and marked them, they would have been in clear conflict with the safety and alliance contract that the Non-Human Rights Foundation put into place. They would have been easy game for hunters if any other human but me stumbled across them and got shredded.” Stiles sat down on his couch while pulling up his laptop to look over the marked map he’d spent so long creating. It really was a far distance between their original location and Stiles’ camping grounds. 

“I’ll look into it on my end. In the meantime, stop almost getting yourself killed. Do you really want to see your State Farm agent that badly?”

Stiles froze. Derek was upstairs in the bathroom cleaning himself up but it wouldn’t be the first time werewolf hearing picked up things it wasn’t supposed to. 

“Lydia, you and I both know that would never happen. I’d sooner be sexed up by Danny,” Stiles whispered into the phone with a sigh. Danny was a researcher who worked with Stiles to locate the supernatural groups so Stiles could go and confirm their territorial claims. He was also extremely attractive, smart, and completely out of Stiles’ league. Not that Stiles was into Danny. He was just too nice, it would feel sacrilegious to do anything even mildly PG-13. Seriously, why was every person around Stiles unfairly attractive and unavailable? 

“Stiles, you’re a catch. Now stop being an ass and go to bed. I’ll call up some of my contacts to see if they know anything and I’ll let you know in the morning.” Lydia hung up before Stiles could respond.

Oh well, it looks like tomorrow/today would be a research day! Stiles got up from the couch and was on the way to his bedroom when Derek called out to him. 

“Stiles, lend me a pair of your clothes, mine are destroyed. There’s no point in me going home when I know you’re just going to get yourself in more trouble tomorrow and summon me,” Derek said, swinging the door open to reveal a slightly damp chest that would put Hercules to shame. He had the towel hung low and his hair was ruffled as if rubbed with a towel. 

Stiles froze mid-step. His mouth going completely dry as he took in the sight of a barely covered, glistening Derek. He unintentionally gave him a once-over, and on his way back up Derek’s god-like body, he caught sight of Derek’s face. His eyebrows were drawn together and he looked on the verge of growling in reaction to Stiles’ obvious ogling. Stiles cleared his throat and quickly looked away.

“No problem, dude. I’ll leave them outside the door,” he said as he quickly turned to his room to search through his drawers. Stiles felt Derek’s glare follow him down the hall.

Being that Derek was almost twice Stiles’ width in muscle, finding a shirt was definitely going to be difficult. Going through his clothes, Stiles picked out a black and white striped shirt and a pair of his old lacrosse sweats from high school. Laying them outside the door, Stiles went to his room to start researching possible reasons for the sudden migration of supernaturals. Who needed sleep, anyway?

After a few minutes, Stiles heard the bathroom door open and the heavy gait of Derek heading towards his room.

“Stiles,” Derek said, completely shirtless and holding up the shirt Stiles had left, “This?” He tugged the shirt for emphasis, “No fit.” He threw it at Stiles’ head.

“Uh, right. Well, I’ll go grab you another one right now.” Stiles leaped up from his desk chair, stumbled, caught himself on his dresser, and whipped open his shirt drawer. 

“Here. This should fit? If not, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not my fault you’re built like a mountain and I’m built like an obelisk,” He thrust a blue and orange shirt in Derek’s general direction, trying to avoid eye contact. 

He felt rather than saw Derek give him a once-over as he took the offered shirt. Turning back, Stiles saw Derek’s muscles flex as he put on the tight shirt, maintaining eye contact with Stiles the whole time. It was like a reverse striptease. What an ass. No need to emphasize how amazing his body was in comparison to Stiles’. Rolling his eyes, Stiles went back to his computer to continue his research. 

“Now that you’re actually clothed, maybe you can help me,” Stiles said while scrolling through various web pages. He heard a huff of annoyance from beside him.

“As far as I can tell, supernaturals only change locations when looking for a new food source or if kicked off their land by a stronger being. So, seeing as you’re a person of furry descent, what do you think caused the redcaps to move over a hundred miles away from their home base?” Stiles asked, swiveling in his chair to face Derek. 

“As a werewolf, I would only leave my territory if I was challenged and beaten by another alpha. If these redcaps are on the move, something’s making them,” Derek said after a moment's thought. 

Cracking his knuckles, Stiles turned back to his computer. “So, what can make a redcap go running scared… looks like we have a lead. Thanks, man,” Stiles mumbled mostly to himself. 

Who would go against the Supernatural safety alliance? Stiles was almost afraid to find out.

☀

“Stiles!”

Stiles immediately jumped awake and proceeded to fall off his desk chair. From his new home on the ground, he looked up to see Derek smirking down at him with a cup of coffee in hand. What an ass. 

“Yes, Derek. My darling houseguest who likes to scare me to death. Isn’t it your job to make sure I  _ don’t _ die? Giving me a heart attack kind of defeats the purpose of having you around,” Stiles grumbled as he lifted himself up. Stretching his arms above his head, he turned to Derek, waiting for his comeback. Instead, Derek had turned away and was looking everywhere but at Stiles. 

“I made breakfast. Let’s go,” He said gruffly as he shoved the coffee cup into Stiles’ hand. 

Huh. The coffee was just how he liked it. Kudos to Derek for guessing his coffee order. Taking a sip, he headed downstairs to join Derek at the counter where he saw Derek had made some eggs and toast. 

“Oh sweet Jesus, thank you. I don’t think we ate last night and I’m starving!” Stiles moaned as he plopped down onto a stool and began shoveling eggs into his mouth. Derek stared openly at him. It wouldn’t be the first time Stiles’ eating habits have disgusted those around him. Smirking, Stiles opened his mouth and chewed obnoxiously at Derek. “Something wrong?” He questioned innocently.

“You’re absolutely disgusting,” Derek hissed as he picked up his own plate and started eating. 

“Perhaps. But I’m also a genius so do with that what you will,” Stiles shrugged. 

“You? A genius? Come on.” Derek laughed a full-bellied laugh. Rude.

“Alright, then I guess I won’t tell you what I found. Suit yourself.”

“You can either tell me or go deal with it alone.” 

“... Fine. First of all, I don’t think this is the first time this has happened. Do you remember when we first met? When I was being chased by the Aswang?” Derek nodded, “Yeah, well that Aswang was  _ way _ out of his feeding grounds. I didn’t think much of it then because they’re a migratory species so it wouldn’t be surprising if they left their territory. What  _ is _ weird is that the Aswang was almost three-hundred miles from where he was supposed to be. Even if it was in a migrating period—which it wasn’t. It wasn’t the right season— it wouldn’t travel that far,” Stiles ticked off on his fingers. “The same thing with the pixies in Idaho. I thought it was weird that they were there, but that’s what Danny’s information said. Pixies are usually found in England or the surrounding area. Sure, some have been found in the states before, but it’s pretty uncommon.”

“That’s… actually really good, Stiles.”

“Please don’t sound so surprised at my awesomeness.” 

“Just shut up and eat your eggs or I will,” Derek threatened as he got up from his chair and headed towards the sink to wash his dish. “I’m going to head home for a second to change clothes. Do the jingle in about an hour so I can pop back over. I don’t feel like driving,” He said as he put his dish into the drying rack. 

“Why didn’t you just do that last night?” Derek froze.

“... I was worried you’d go off and do something reckless like go and try to talk to the redcaps or something….” Derek sounded unsure of his answer. Squinting his eyes at him, Stiles let his suspicion be known. “Okaaaaaaay… anyway, yeah. I’ll call you back in a few. Go do your thang. Your daily grooming. Do you brush your fur every morning? Clip your claws? Should I get you a bandana like they give at the groomers? What color do you want, green or b—”

“What part of I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth  _ do you not understand _ ?” Derek growled in his face as he gripped the front of Stiles’ shirt, suddenly right between his legs. Stiles swallowed and hoped to god Derek couldn’t smell his fear boner. 

“Yep. Message heard. We’re clear. Crystal. Perfect. Please don’t rip this shirt, it's my favorite.” Stiles batted Derek’s hand. With one last snarl, Derek released him. 

“Call me back in an  _ hour _ . Do not go off alone, even if you find a lead. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, yes I hear you, now  _ go. _ ” Derek gave him another glare and then poofed away. 

Just as Stiles was getting up to put away his dishes, his phone began ringing and the image of his goddess popped up on his screen. 

“Lydia! How may I assist you this beautiful morning?” 

“Stiles, I need you to head out right now. I found out what’s making the supernaturals move. If we don’t act now, we’ll have a war on our hands.” Lydia’s voice shook with anger and fear. 

Oh god, if Lydia was scared then it was definitely serious, 

“What is it? Where do you need me?” Stiles was already on the move to his room to throw on clothes. 

“It’s the Argent hunter group. Remember them? They are the biggest opposers to the Non-Human Rights Foundation and are constantly trying to overturn protective legislation.” 

“Fuck. Okay, what do you want me to do?” 

“As of now, I have a location on their head of operations. It’s in some warehouse a little outside of Beacon Hills. But Stiles, I don’t want you going alone. I’m only sending you out to go do some surveillance around the area but  _ do not engage _ until back-up is there. Do you understand me?” What was it with people thinking Stiles didn’t understand?

“Yes, I’ve got it. Now go get me my back-up,” Stiles said before hanging up. 

Okay. Should he call Derek? He said not to move without him but this was an order from Lydia… And it wasn’t dangerous! Just recon! Yeah, he’d be fine. Jumping down the stairs, Stiles grabbed his car keys and headed out the door. Derek wouldn’t be  _ that _ mad... Right? Whatever, it’s for a good cause and all that. Stiles can always beg for forgiveness later. Besides, Derek didn’t really care about him that much, he just didn’t like having to always save Stiles. Yep, it would be fine. 

Stiles jumped into his car and sped away to the warehouse district. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is the big dumb but we love him anyway. We'll have some more StateFarm stuff next chapter. Is it Sate Farm or StateFarm??


	4. Start or Track a Claim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for kind of dropping off after updating consistently and then nothing. Tbh I got distracted reading a bunch of other amazing fics and I've started reading a bunch of the shoujo isekai manga where the main character gets transported into another world. But not the ones where they're the heroine, the ones where they are anyone but. Very fun, let me tell you. Anyway, yeah. I got distracted :) here's the next chapter! There's going to be one more after this and then it's done.

Stepping out of the shower, Derek quickly dried off and padded to his room to put on some new clothes. There’s no telling what Stiles could get himself into without supervision so he got ready as fast as possible. With a sigh, Derek sat down heavily on his bed in a clean pair of dark jeans and a soft t-shirt and closed his eyes. How could Stiles be so oblivious? Alright, admittedly, Derek wasn’t the most open with his feelings… or anything really. But! He felt like he made his interest kind of obvious. He expressed his concern, he flexed and posed for Stiles, and he quite literally slept over the night before. It was almost funny how fucking oblivious Stiles was. Even if he didn’t get Derek’s message,  _ he  _ should at least be falling for  _ Derek  _ a little. 

Taking out his phone, he scrolled through his notifications while he waited for Stiles to summon him. There were some text messages he had ignored from yesterday. One from his coworker and beta Erica, two from his sisters Laura and Cora, and a missed call from his mom. 

Tapping on Erica’s name, he saw that she was once again pestering him about finally asking Stiles out, which was never going to happen at this rate. Supposedly Erica had placed bets with the rest of his pack; Boyd, Erica’s boyfriend, Isaac, the pack baby, and Jackson, resident asshole. Boyd had bet he’d crack by the end of the month, Isaac by the end of the year, and Jackson said he would never get the balls to do it. Erica bet that he wouldn’t even ask Stiles out, he’d just manhandle him into a bed. He silently agreed with Erica. Based on how oblivious Stiles was, that seemed like the only viable option that would ensure Stiles understood his intentions.

With a growl, he shot off a quick ‘Fuck you’ to Erica and moved on to his next message. Laura wanted to know when he’d be visiting home next and Cora wanted him to smuggle a State Farm shirt out of the company for her. Did she want it for some sort of joke? He didn’t even try to understand Cora. Derek completely skipped his call with his mother because he knew it would just be her passive-aggressively asking when he would finally bring someone home. He’d just talk to her when he went home that weekend. Huffing, Derek dropped his phone on his bed and fiddled with the damp string bracelet on his wrist. 

What was taking Stiles so long? It had been a little over an hour now and still no summons. Either Stiles had fallen asleep again or he was up to something. Derek felt a pit form in his stomach. He’d give Stiles another twenty minutes before he got into his car and just headed over himself. 

He was probably just overreacting. Everything was fine. 

☀

Everything was not fine. Stiles lay bruised and bloody behind a dumpster a block away from the warehouses where he was supposed to be doing recon. 

When Stiles had arrived twenty minutes ago, he had spotted some bushes across the street from the main warehouse and decided they would give him the best cover to silently watch. While heading over, he must have tripped some sort of perimeter alarm because five minutes after hunkering down in his safety bush, an alarm had sounded and Stiles was suddenly being charged by at least thirty masked people with  _ very big weapons _ . 

“Fuck. Fucking fuck, Why? Fuck!” Stiles screeched as he leapt up from his spot before bolting into the alley that ran just behind his hiding spot. 

Stiles could hear the men gaining on him as he sprinted through the back alleys, throwing himself around corners to try and lose the men tailing him. 

“Goddammit. Derek is going to fucking kill me if these asses don’t,” He said, mostly to himself as he whipped around another corner, his foot slipping on some random trash left to rot. It was almost ironic. Derek was going to kill him despite being his life insurance. Guess it was time to call him… 

“Like a goo—” Stiles was cut off as a hooded figure came out of a side alley and a baton was slammed into his stomach. Immediately crumbling to the ground, Stiles looked up to see his attacker. 

The last thing he saw was a woman with blonde hair and a boot coming at his face. 

Then nothing. 

☀

Derek felt the beginnings of his summoning as the magic in his bracelet began to heat up. Grumbling, he got up to get ready for his transportation, but the heat suddenly stopped. Looking down at his bracelet, he waited for it to start again. His eyebrows drew together as a frown overtook his face and he brought the bracelet up closer to inspect. Why wasn’t Stiles calling again? 

Looking at the clock, Derek saw the extra twenty minutes had passed and his stomach dropped. He had a very bad Stiles-induced feeling. God, he was an idiot to believe Stiles could go one day without getting himself into trouble. Grabbing his keys from his desk, Derek sprinted down the stairs and for the door. He didn’t know where Stiles was but the best place to start would be his home. 

☀

Breaking all of the traffic laws probably wasn’t the best idea in this situation, but Derek arrived at Stiles’ apartment in record time. Unfortunately, he also had company. 

The police lights flashed behind him as Derek got out of the car and stormed towards the building. He was almost to the door when he was stopped by the officer who had been following him for the last few blocks. 

“Woah, son. What do you think you’re doing?” The policeman asked, his hand on his gun. It was definitely not common for a speeder to get out of their car after being pulled over unless they were trying to start trouble. 

Flipping around, Derek was about to bite back something rude, but before he could, he fully took in the man before him and his mind went back to one of the first things Stiles had ever said to him. 

_ “...I’m surprised they haven’t called the cops before, you know? Which would be awkward being that my  _ dad’s the Sheriff. _ By the way, are you okay?” _

It seemed so long ago and the conversation so insignificant until this moment. The man before him was Stiles’ father, the Sheriff, not some police officer. 

“Sir! You’re Sheriff Stilinski, right? I’m Derek Hale, your son’s State Farm agent, and I think he’s in trouble. I’m aware that I was breaking traffic codes but I was in a rush to get here. Please, sir,” Derek begged desperately. 

Sheriff Stilinski’s eyebrows rose to his hairline as he absorbed Derek’s words and his hand slowly left his gun. 

“Well, get a move on, then. And fill me in on what you know about my idiot son while you’re at it.” They both rushed up the stairs. 

Slamming into the building and bursting through the door, Derek wolfed out and looked for any possible assailants. Seeing none, he took to checking all the rooms while the Sheriff followed close behind with his gun drawn. Finding nothing, the two men went back to Stiles’ living room and Derek explained everything to the Sheriff while he paced the floor and the Sheriff sat heavily on the couch. 

After Derek was finished, The Sheriff looked as if he had aged another ten years in the past ten minutes. Guilt racked through Derek’s body. He wasn’t able to protect Stiles and now he was breaking his father’s heart. He looked down and his shoulders slumped.

“Alright, son, don’t worry. I know who to call.” The Sheriff got up and quickly dialed a number while heading to his car, Derek trailing behind. 

“Lydia, have you spoken to Stiles today? No, he has not informed me of his latest mission. You  _ what? _ And you thought he would actually listen to you? Lydia Martin! I have known you since you were fifteen and pretending to be an idiot. Why are you acting like one now? Where did you send him? Jesus, okay. Get that back-up there as soon as possible. I’m on my way over.” Hanging up, Sheriff Stilinski turned to Derek and the man’s face looked strained. 

Derek’s whole body was overcome with fear. 

“Son, I’m heading to the warehouse district. That’s where Stiles’ boss said she sent him. I’m also calling for back-up so you do not need to come. This wasn’t in your job description. However, neither was coming to Stiles’ apartment without a summons,” he gave Derek a pointed look, “I’m not about to have a conversation with you about your relationship with my son while he’s in danger but I am telling you that you’ll have the complete backing of the police if you happened to find and kill the people who harmed my son. Obviously, this conversation is off the record, but you have my word.”

“Sheriff, whether I had your backing or not, I would come,” Derek stated firmly

The Sheriff’s eyes lit up with approval and he gave a huff.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now, let’s go.” They both took off, Derek in his shifted form and the Sheriff in his police car, the sounds of distant sirens on their heels.

☀

Stiles woke up to a searing pain in his abdomen and skull. No, seriously. It felt like a bomb had exploded in his head but the nerve endings were still intact and  _ on fire _ . Groaning, he tried to open his eyes against the pain in his skull. 

“Oh, look! The cutie is awake!” a condescending and smug voice cut through the haze. 

Squinting, Stiles looked around as the world came into focus. Looking down, he saw his hands and feet had been tied with ropes and duct tape. His eyes finally found the source of the voice. It was a woman with blonde hair, brown eyes, and a deadly smile. She was sharpening a knife while she watched Stiles. That was  _ seriously _ creepy. Was she just watching him while he was unconscious? Stiles felt like that was some form of harassment. Honestly, he felt a little violated. 

Blinking a few times, Stiles’ face broke into a grin.“Wow! This isn’t stereotypical at all! Are we in one of the warehouses? And you’re threatening me, right after I’m waking up from a kidnapping? When are you going to monologue? Ooooh! Are we doing a hostage video? I’ve always wanted to do one of tho—”

Stiles was cut off as the woman cracked him across the face with- was that a fucking  _ horse crop _ ? Where did she even pull that out from? Stiles couldn’t help it, he laughed. 

“Are you kidding me? Is this some BDSM stuff? Was I kidnapped because of the sexy vibes I give off?” Stiles asked, his face breaking out into a sarcastic smile. 

“You’re  _ here _ because you keep interfering in our work and now your boss knows about our work. So now we’re just using you as leverage for safe passage out of this shit hole. In reality, we don’t have to keep you alive at all, we just have to pretend you are until we are out of California. So, you should probably shut your goddamn mouth before I shut it for you,” the woman growled, grabbing Stiles by his dirty shirt and pulling him close until he could feel her breath on his face. 

“Yep, got it. Message received.”

Releasing Stiles, the woman stepped back and took a seat in her chair, flicking her feet on to the table in front of her. The knife and whip were both in arms reach and always in her eyesight. Stiles debated whether he could call Derek before the woman could stop the jingle. But, no. He couldn’t call Derek. He couldn’t put him in danger like that. It wasn’t his job and Stiles wouldn’t be an even bigger burden to Derek. 

“Now, you’re going to tell me all about the map you’ve been making where all the pretty little monsters are marked. And you are going to remake that map for us,” She said, her words chokingly sweet. 

Stiles looked at her and put on the best confused face he could muster. “What are you talking about?” 

“Please don’t pretend to be stupid. I know you’re the maker of the maps. Just help us make your life easier.”

“I don’t know how to help you help me tell you something that would help you if I don’t know it,” Stiles said with a shrug. 

He could physically see the woman in front of him slowly losing her composure. 

“Listen here, you little shit. You have five seconds to start talking before I make you. We want the map and you have it in that stupid little head of yours. They’re monsters anyway, their lives don’t matter. So be a sweetie and give it to me.”

“Are you counting like one Mississippi or are you guesstimating each second? Do you have a timer? I’m sorry I just really want to understand how much time I have.”

“Time’s up, honey. You had your chance,” Kate threatened. She grabbed the knife she had put on the table and stepped towards Stiles. 

“Oh, Joy!” Stiles sighed with fake enthusiasm.

☀

“Relax, Derek. I’m fine. A little bruised and stabbed but I heal. Obviously not as fast as you but I’m  _ fine _ . Why are you making such a big deal out of this? This is definitely not the first time I’ve been this injured. What’s one more little eensy-weensy stab wound?” 

After Stiles had denied the hunter woman a map, she had had her fun with the pretty little knife she had been playing with earlier. It wasn’t pleasant but Stiles was still alive so he wasn’t complaining. Much. 

Supposedly, he had passed out from pain and had been out for only around thirty minutes before the whole police force, Danny, Lydia, and Derek had charged the building. The woman had tried to run but Derek had caught her around the neck, quickly ending her life with his sharp claws and a roar. It almost made Stiles laugh being that Derek was in life  _ insurance _ . The hunters were quickly overwhelmed and Lydia, along with his dad, read them their rights. Lydia assured him none of them would see the light of day again. Then, his father had come in, released him from the ropes, and gave him a hug. Derek came and lifted him away after receiving a nod from Stiles’ dad. Derek had looked almost pained until Stiles was in his arms. Then he just looked angry.

Derek continued on his brisk walk out of the warehouse, Stiles cradled against his chest in a princess carry. Throwing him into the back of the nearest ambulance, Derek turned abruptly to Stiles and slammed his arms on each side of him, caging Stiles in in a way that reminded Stiles of some of his more aggressive fantasies. Oh god, Derek was going to kill him. This was  _ not _ the time to get a fear boner!

“All you do is get yourself in trouble, Stiles. And it’s not even for selfish reasons! You do it for people, for supernatural beings like me! Half of the creatures you’ve set about saving would not hesitate to eat or slaughter you! You’re so  _ good _ !” Derek practically yelled. His chest was heaving and Stiles’ eyes were wide, mouth hanging open in shock. What the fuck was happening right now?

“You don’t even realize how amazing you are! When I first met you, I just thought you were some dumb idiot sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. But now? After I’ve seen you put your life at risk so many times? After I’ve seen how much you care?” Derek threw his arms up, “I can’t stop being worried about you and wanting to be there for you to make sure you don’t get hurt!” Derek brought his hands to his face and let out a deep sigh.

“I know that’s unprofessional and if you want a new agent, I’ll be happy to get you one. Just, please. Value yourself a little more.” The last part was almost whispered with how soft it came out. 

Stiles felt like he should say something. He should, right? He was pretty sure Derek had just confessed his feelings to him. Or, at least some sort of feeling.

“Uh, dude. Sorry, I just want to confirm before I say anything ridiculously embarrassing. Do you, I don’t know, like me or something?” Stiles asked, completely awestruck that a man of Derek’s caliber might be even slightly attracted to him. 

Derek looked up at him then, and he began to laugh. And laugh.

“Yes, I get it. Ha ha. Very funny. Who could ever like little Stiles Stilinski. No need to be a dick about it, dude.” Stiles drew his arms around himself and his shoulders rose up around his ears. 

“Hey, No. Stiles, no, you goddamn idiot,” Derek’s hands were suddenly on Stiles’ face, tilting his chin up. “I fucking adore you. Do you think I would spend the night at your house and rush into a warehouse full of hunters for someone I didn’t like? God, you’re such an idiot.” Derek sounded fond, and before Stiles could respond, Derek’s lips were on his.

Suddenly nothing else mattered. Not the hunters, not the map, not the bleeding stab wound- it was barely bleeding- in his side, just Derek. He would deal with the rest later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize that Allison is an Argent but in this fic their families are separate and she's not involved. I'm going to be honest, I kind of forgot I put Allison in here and then when I remembered it was too late... oops. Anyway! I hope you enjoy :) ALso, I'm updating tags as I write it so sorry about that if I'm missing any


	5. Reliable. Personable. Fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahhahahahah yeah. I got distracted with my overall lack of motivation to do anything... sorry about that....  
> Anyway! Here's the final chapter! Thanks for sticking with it (ﾉ∀`♥)

“Derek, I’m honestly fine. Stop worrying so much,” Stiles assured Derek, batting his hands away from his hospital bed as Derek straightened out the sheets for the fifth time. 

“I know you’re okay. But you almost weren’t, Stiles.” Derek’s shoulders hunched up to his ears. If Derek had been any later… He didn’t want to think about what could have happened. 

After their little kiss in the ambulance, they were rudely interrupted by some medics who wanted to treat Stiles’ stab wound. Which, valid. But come on! Stiles got to touch  _ all that _ and now some stupid stab wound was stopping him? I mean, yes, Stiles was getting a bit dizzy and Derek’s magical face was coming in and out of focus, but Stiles had priorities. 

The medic dragged Stiles into the ambulance to quickly treat his wound, attach him to an IV, and prepare him for the ride to the hospital. Once ready, Derek jumped into the back of the ambulance, much to the annoyance of the medical staff. Stiles was thankful, though. As the adrenaline began to wear off, he began to shake from shock. Wow. He was just tortured. He was  _ so _ not looking forward to telling Scott. As his breathing began to speed up, Derek reached out and grabbed his hand. The noise from the medics working around him and the ambulance faded as Stiles’ entire focus narrowed down to Derek once again. His incoming panic attacked settled and his breathing evened out. Derek looked into Stiles’ eyes and gave him the most heartfelt look Stiles had ever received. His heart stuttered in his chest. Dammit. Derek probably heard that guessing by how his lips pulled up into the tiniest of smiles. 

They stayed like that the whole way, no words exchanged between them until they reached the hospital. Stiles almost wished they had stayed in the ambulance. Then, he would have been able to avoid this next conversation.

“Why didn’t you call me? You know I would have been there in a heartbeat whether I wanted to be or not?” Derek asked, hurt creeping into his voice. Suddenly, his eyebrows rose up and anger took over his face. “Actually, why did you leave the fucking house without me when you promised you wouldn’t?”

Stiles winced. Right. He forgot he broke his promise to Derek literally two minutes after making it… no one said Stiles was perfect. And, hey! Promises were meant to be broken. Life was more exciting that way. 

“Well, you see that’s a great question. I question I will answer. Once I am better and your eyebrows stop looking so angry. Seriously, it’s like all of your emotions are expressed through those caterpillars. You know, your face has specific muscles that also do that. Speaking of face muscles, did you know the phrase ‘It takes 43 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile’ is actually wrong? It takes roughly ten to twelve muscles to smile depending on how big the smile and between six and eleven to frown. It’s actually easier to frown but because people tend to smile more, the muscles are stronger. Also—”

“Stiles,” Derek’s voice came out in a fond but exasperated grumble. He rubbed his hand over his beautifully stubbled face and took a deep sigh. 

Stiles held up his hands in defeat. Derek was honestly too cute.“Alright, dude. Chill. I didn’t call you because they were obviously hunters with big knives and jazz and I didn’t want you to get hurt. It’s not your  _ job  _ to get hurt for me and I would never put you in that position. I’m not worth that much and I knew you guys would find me eventually,” Stiles finished with a shrug.

Suddenly, Derek jumped up from the seat beside Stiles’ bed and his hands were gripping his hospital gown before Stiles could even blink. Woah. Derek’s eyes were beautiful even when pissed off for no reason. All green and brown and all those other colors. Seriously, what color were those eyes?

“You. Are. Worth it. Don’t you ever doubt that for even a second or I will personally drill it into your head during every waking hour of your day,” Derek growled. Stiles could feel his breathe skating across his face. Stiles gulped and looked away from Derek’s piercing gaze. Unfortunately, he looked straight down at Derek’s surprisingly soft lips and gulped for a whole different reason. 

The monitor next to Stiles began beeping erratically to match his heart rate and Stiles’ whole face broke out into a deep blush, making the monitor beat even more. What was this, a scene from Twilight? God. It’s one thing to have Derek be able to hear it but a whole other thing for the goddamn hospital to hear!

Derek snorted and leaned forward. Stiles, realizing what was about to happen braced for impact and quickly shut his eyes. Only, the kiss never came to his lips. Stiles felt a soft brush on his forehead and then Derek moving out of his space. Stiles opened his eyes.

_ Derek just gave him a fucking forehead kiss. Oh my god. _ The heartrate monitor went off again and Stiles groaned as Derek let out a full-bellied laugh. 

☀

After two days in the hospital, Melissa, a nurse at the hospital and Scott’s mom, finally cleared him to go home. After calling his dad to pick him up from the hospital, Stiles let out a deep sigh. Between his dad and Derek, Stiles hadn’t had a free moment to himself at all. He had only just convinced Derek to go home a few hours before he was announced healthy. If he was being honest, he just wanted to be at his apartment alone for a bit to decompress from the past few days. Getting stabbed really takes a lot out of a person. And hospitals made him queasy.

As he went about checking himself out of the hospital, Melissa lectured him on keeping his stab wound clean, blah blah blah, stop getting into trouble, blah blah blah, going to give me a heart attack. Y’know. The usual. Walking out of the front door, Stiles spotted his dad leaning next to his cruiser and jogged over, ignoring the protests of Melissa behind him. 

Jumping into the passenger side, he watched as his dad awkwardly shuffled to Melissa’s side and smiled at how besotted his dad looked. It was about time he moved on from Stiles’ mom’s death. No one would ever replace her but it was time his dad was happy again. After one last nod, his dad hopped back into the car and gave Stiles a look. 

“Son, try not to do this again, alright? I know we got you life insurance but I don’t actually want to cash in on it,” his father said, ruffling his hair. “Now, let’s get you home. I’m sure you need some actual rest before I start questioning you about your less-than-professional relationship with your insurance agent.”

Stiles groaned. He was hoping his father would not ask why his insurance agent was visiting him in the hospital almost as much as his own dad was. Sadly, no mercy. 

“Dad, I would rather be back stuck in that warehouse,” Stiles said with mock seriousness. His father laughed and started up the car for the short ride home. 

☀

Collapsing onto his bed. Stiles hadn’t even been lying down for more than ten minutes before he heard his front door slam open. 

“STILES!” Scott’s voice rang out from down the hall, followed quickly by the pounding of heavy feet. 

“STILES, ARE YOU OKAY?” Scott yelled, whipping open his bedroom door. 

Rolling over, Stiles had just enough time to brace himself before Scott was launching towards him. 

“Scott! Release! Bro, I have a stab wound!” Stiles yelled as Scott’s embrace squeezed against his side. 

“Shit! Fuck! I’m so sorry! What happened? Your dad filled me in a bit but I want to hear it from you,” Scott rushed out, moving to Stiles’ side instead of right on top of him. 

Sighing, Stiles began filling him in on the best four days. After he was done, Scott looked furious. 

“Are they all dead? Because if not, I’ll kill them,” Scott growled. Patting his arm, Stiles assured his wolfy best friend that all was taken care of.

“Tell me about your honeymoon, Scotty,” Stiles said, trying to distract him. Instantly, Scott lit up as he began to gush about his beautiful wife and their time around the country. So easily distractable. Stiles would have to buy Allison a gift to thank her for seducing Scott so well. They spent the rest of the night like that, only stopping to switch to videogames until around midnight when Stiles claimed exhaustion and they both crowded upstairs to bed. It had been a long couple of days. 

☀

Stiles heard a ringing next to him, jerking him out of his sleep. Grabbing it quickly, Stiles rushed out of the room to his living room, thanking all the gods that Scott was a heavy sleeper despite being a werewolf. 

“Hello?” Stiles answered without checking the called ID.

“Stiles,” Derek breathed from the other end. Stiles felt his pulse pick up again. 

“Derek? What’s up, dude? It’s like—” Stiles checked the TV clock, “—three in the morning, man. Not that I’m not happy to talk to you, but maybe we can talk in the morning?” Stiles asked, a sudden yawn slipping out. 

“I know, I should have waited but I just couldn’t. I had to hear your voice,” Derek whispered lowly. Damn, he was good. 

“I’m okay, Derek. I promise you.”

“No offense, Stiles, but your promises kind of mean shit right now,” Derek sassed back, completely breaking the soft mood. 

Stiles barked out a laugh at the sudden change, quickly covering his mouth. Hopefully, Scott hadn’t woken up at the sudden noise. 

“Well, I guess I can’t blame you for not trusting me,” Stiles joked, cringing at how truthful it came out. 

“No, that’s not what I meant Stiles… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It’s your first night back home and… I was worried you might not feel safe.”

Stiles smiled. “I’m okay, big guy. I swear on your eyebr—”

“Stiles?” Scott’s sleepy voice rang out from his bedroom, “Who are you talking to?”

Stiles froze. He hadn’t told Scott about Derek. Not really. Scott just knew he had a State Farm agent but not that Stiles was now in a weird limbo relationship with one. Shit.

“Uh, it’s Derek from State Farm,” Stiles said. Derek had gone silent on the other end. 

“Derek from State Farm at three in the morning?” Scott questioned, stalking over to Stiles with a mischievous smirk on his face and snatching his phone. “Who is this?”

Stiles heard Derek clear his throat.“It’s Derek. From State Farm.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “What are you wearing Derek from State Farm?”

“Uhh… Khakis?”

“Well she sounds hideous” Scott announced, shoving Stiles’ phone back at him before flouncing back to the guest bedroom. 

“I mean, she’s a guy so…” Stiles trailed off as Scott cackled from behind the door. 

“You have some explaining to do, Stilinski!” Scott shouted. Stiles let out a sigh and sat down on his couch as he resigned himself to his fate of eternally being made fun of for falling for his State Farm agent. Great. 

“Uh, Stiles?” Derek sounded amused at the other end of the phone. 

“Yeah Der, I’m still here. And, again, I promise you that I am O.K! Now get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow, grumpy wolf,” Stiles joked. 

Chuckling from the other end of the phone, Derek bid him goodnight in a soft tone before hanging up. Stiles sat there for another few minutes just staring at his blank screen. He could not believe he bagged  _ Derek _ . Just. Wow. All the State Farm clients and the old women of Beacon Hills were going to be majorly jealous once he and Derek sorted out what  _ exactly _ they were. 

Smiling to himself, Stiles made his way back to his bedroom and quietly shut the door before sliding into his cool sheets. Before he could drift back into a deep sleep, Scott banged open his door, causing Stiles to bolt upright. What was  _ with _ people scaring the shit out of him in his own house? 

“ _ What _ , Scott?” Stiles grumbled as he held his chest. He could literally feel his heart trying to escape. 

“I’ll let you sleep for now, but tomorrow? Oh, boy. You’ve been keeping things from me, Stiles. Be prepared,” Scott laughed maniacally as he closed Stiles’ door and headed back to his own room. Stiles groaned. Scott was going to be  _ the worst _ about this. Settling down again, Stiles thought back to Derek’s soft voice on the phone and fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

☀

After a grueling morning of being made fun of for being a cliche and falling in love with what was essentially his security guard, Scott left Stiles to his own devices. After a very thorough shower— he was an optimist!  _ Sue him _ — Stiles dressed into his tightest jeans and cleanest plaid shirt and sat on his couch. 

Bracing himself, he sang the jingle. “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.”

Derek popped into existence a few milliseconds later and time seemed to stop. They both stared at one another, Stiles sitting and Derek standing in front of him looking like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Derek, I—”

“Stiles—” 

“Sorry, you go first,” Stiles was almost glad Derek had something to say because honestly, he had _ no idea  _ what he was going to say. 

Stealing himself and squaring his shoulders, Derek began. “Stiles, I… I really like you. And I want to protect you and be there for you. As more than just your State Farm agent. I just want to be with you..” Derek’s eyes never left Stiles’ face. Stunned by Derek’s confession, Stiles sat there until Derek began to look uncomfortable by the silence. Then, Stiles broke out into a grin. 

“Well, that’s good. I was worried I would just have to keep summoning you until I grew on you enough and you finally stayed,” Stiles joked. Derek’s face broke out into a tiny smile as Stiles’ words soaked in. “Honestly, this makes things so much easier. Now I won’t even have to summon you when I’m in trouble! You’ll already be there! I mean, I’m definitely not stopping my job, and assuming you actually meant ‘be with me’ as in, in person, then we’re all set! Gosh, this makes our lives so much easier. I can’t wait until we face our next supernatural catastrophe. They won’t even know what hit them! I mean, they probably will be able to sense your werewolfness. You’re not exactly subtle but—” 

“Stiles!” 

“Yep, shutting up now.” Stiles mimed zipping his lips. 

“Gods, you’re going to be a handful.”

A full-out grin bloomed on Stiles’ face.“Hey! I’ll have you know, I am  _ way more _ than just a handful, if you get what I me—”

Derek cut Stiles off with a kiss, pushing Stiles into the back of the couch. Stiles’ hands flew to Derek’s face and pulled him in closer to deepen the kiss. Derek ran his hands down Stiles’ arms and sides, his knee between his legs as Derek leaned over him. Inhaling Stiles’ scent, Derek felt a wave of calm drift over him. Stiles, beautiful, perfect, self-less Stiles, was his.

Breaking for air, Stiles’ gorgeous brown eyes fluttered open. “Yeah. Yup. Yes. This is perfect. I don’t care about anything else just keep doing that,” Stiles rambled, slightly breathless. 

“I will. For as long as you’ll have me,” Derek assured him, “After all, like a good neighbor, I’m always there,” Derek smirked. 

Stiles snorted. “God, you’re a dork,” and pulled him in for another kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaannnndd that's it! My first fic,,, completed!  
> At some point, I'm going to rewrite this with better editing and have it all flow more and stuff, but until then, I guess we're stuck with this :)  
> I have another commercial fic idea but we'll see if I actually get up the motivation to write it. Thanks for reading!


End file.
